A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Can you hear me NOW?"
2. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
3. "Any sign of the trapped miners?"
4. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out, ..."
5. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
6. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
7. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
8. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
9. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of them all,
10. "Would you please write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."